Painting by: Andrew Wyeth’s

Uninspired

How did I get to this place?
How is it that I am here?
Is this really all I am?
A woman with everything to fear?

I no longer remember the dreams
Or who or what I wanted to be
Is this what I wanted of my life
This work of women and of wife

What dreams did I have did I follow
To come to this place
My fault and the work of my own hand
Or just the hours pass thru fingers like sand

Is this what hard work truly brings
Or Did I stand by and just let life happen?
Did I really work for this at all
Could my dreams really be this small?

From the outside in
It’s all well kept and well acquired
But what I see is scatted dreams empty and bare
And of the void I am ever aware

Looking at my place and at my time
Who I am and all I have
Bring both comfort and shame
Knowing that I have myself to only blame

But what to do
Want and need only what is had
Or turn from this my home of uninspired
To the possibility of what was once desired

Nope, I keep with this uninspired life
For if I look away too long
I might my blessing regret
So it’s better that my dreams to forget

- emily gonzalez

I stay...

How did I get here to this place?
I look into a face I think I know
And the eyes looking back full of Sadness
Sympathy and fear
They whisper that they love me
So why am I still here?

I ask the little ones to take me with them
But they don’t know my words
Or what I say
The ones in the white coats
Talk about me but not to me
I want to go home
They pat my arm and look thru me

The two that come
Share their days and their lives
They clean me up and do my hair
But when I wake up no one's there

How did I get here to this place?
Eyes of sadness, sympathy and fear
They whisper that they love me
Why am I still here?

I sit in this room with the sad and lonely
But inside I feel like more
and remember a time when
I was anything but only
I had things to do and kids to feed
I had a responsibility to a higher power

Sometimes I close my eyes to ask for help
Though I can remember to who it is I talk
I sense someone does listen
I remember the streets of NY I’d walk
With a message
A message to share
I was surrounded by those lost and needy
With my word of hope a sense of care
The drug induced, sick and sad
They needed me and the job I had

How did I get here to this place?
I look into the eyes of those I think I know
Eyes of sadness, sympathy and fear
They whisper that they love me
But am I still here?

Looking out this window
Feels familiar like I’ve been here before
But when I look back
Back at the place I am
I expect to see more
I wonder where have they all gone
Or where have I been
He should be home soon
I remember with a grin

Here come the two
I know there should be others
But can’t remember who
They clean me up and do my hair
They talk of life and somehow I know they care.
But I remember so many others
I wonder where have they all gone

Take me with you I say
Eyes of sadness, sympathy and fear
They whisper that they love me
but they go home
And I stay here

- emily gonzalez